My dialogue Again
have you ever try being guilty in doing something? I do. Just being honest seems not that effective anymore. How i wish i could bring back the tides of time and change what has to be changed. Regrets do come at the end when everything seems to fit to what you expect and yet, you know it's wrong. Stupid me.
What if I could really turn the tides and change what was done in the past? What would i really do? It seems that regret sometimes pull you to the line of wanting to move on and yet wanting to go back at that one time when everything seems to be what i could say- normal yet mundane. What would my actions be? I dont even have any idea.
I live in a world where it seems stupid to make the correct choice and be happy with it. I fear the hurts of people and yet, i also fear of being hurt later on. I am torn between the hurts of the past and the fear of the future. The excitement of what lies ahead seems blurry with the fog of guilt, pain and shame behind me. I seem cant cope up and move on. i am filled with the gruelsome idea of getting back and doing it again. I hate doing it and yet it's what i crave for in the inside. It's magnet seems attracting me more than ever when my walls are down. it seems that it's useless being victorious from it all.
I hate it when it's like this. I couldn't think or work straight. I don't know if am on the right track or am just fooling myself in this so called journey i call life. I hate it when am afraid and yet i dont want to be with somebody. I hate it when i look at the mirror and sees my eyes without excitement and passion anymore. I hate it when i walk and no words comes out on my mouth. i hate it when i look back and sees my life as a useless track of faults and pains. i hate it when am sad and no tears fall because i dont know what to cry for. I hate it when i look at my journal and sees only pain and regret and not joys and fulfillments. i hate it when i reflect and all i could think of are dreams that faded away in time or those unfulfilled ones i made in the pasts. i hate life, that's what i think am doing.
- A melancholic's dialogue.
What if I could really turn the tides and change what was done in the past? What would i really do? It seems that regret sometimes pull you to the line of wanting to move on and yet wanting to go back at that one time when everything seems to be what i could say- normal yet mundane. What would my actions be? I dont even have any idea.
I live in a world where it seems stupid to make the correct choice and be happy with it. I fear the hurts of people and yet, i also fear of being hurt later on. I am torn between the hurts of the past and the fear of the future. The excitement of what lies ahead seems blurry with the fog of guilt, pain and shame behind me. I seem cant cope up and move on. i am filled with the gruelsome idea of getting back and doing it again. I hate doing it and yet it's what i crave for in the inside. It's magnet seems attracting me more than ever when my walls are down. it seems that it's useless being victorious from it all.
I hate it when it's like this. I couldn't think or work straight. I don't know if am on the right track or am just fooling myself in this so called journey i call life. I hate it when am afraid and yet i dont want to be with somebody. I hate it when i look at the mirror and sees my eyes without excitement and passion anymore. I hate it when i walk and no words comes out on my mouth. i hate it when i look back and sees my life as a useless track of faults and pains. i hate it when am sad and no tears fall because i dont know what to cry for. I hate it when i look at my journal and sees only pain and regret and not joys and fulfillments. i hate it when i reflect and all i could think of are dreams that faded away in time or those unfulfilled ones i made in the pasts. i hate life, that's what i think am doing.
- A melancholic's dialogue.
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